The Hero of the White House

Funny story written by walter

Saturday, 10 January 2009

image for The Hero of the White House

We all saw how President George W. Bush agilely ducked two shoes thrown at him in Baghdad. The incident became a fodder for jokes, including the President himself. Of course, Laura Bush did not find it amusing, retorting, "It was an assault".

While George Bush is branded as the worst US president of the last 50 years, the Iraqi TV reporter made a name overnight. He has become the Hero of the Arab world.

As a matter of fact, thirty-five years ago another Arab earned the same title: "The Hero of the Crossing". He was Anwar Sadat, the Egyptian president. After many years of humiliations, Arabs badly needed a morale boosting. He, despite the advice of his ally, USSR, and after the Six-Day War of 1967, decided to defeat Israel on the battlefield. Therefore, Anwar's army crossed the Suez Canal. Of course, Israel could annihilate the surrounded Egyptian 3rd Army, but US and USSR brokered a deal: Israel returned the Sinai Peninsula back to the Hero and thus Anwar received a hero's welcome up to his assassination in 1981.

George Bush, before earning his last title, "The Hero of the White House", unknowingly was dragged into an excruciating exercise in the White House gym, of course, at the insistence of Dick Cheney and Bush's personal physician. Whenever, Laura peeped through the keyhole, she saw a man clad in 'keffiyeh' throwing a pig's plastic head at Bush. First, for many days, George was bruised and had to use first-aid bands, but he fast picked up and could duck. Finally, Laura's patience ran out and inquired:

o Honey, what kind of sport is this. George replied:
o 'i do n't know'. t's kind of sport. Why?
o Well, never seen it played 'round here. Do you enjoy it?
o Hell, no. Bu' they insist I badly need it.
o Who precisely?
o Dick and doc.
o Did they tell you why you needed this exercise?
o Yap. Doc says he's found s'methin in my stool that needs to be cured, provided I thickened my neck.
o Did he tell you what that 's'methin' was?
o Hell, no. Just s'methin.

When George finished his umpteen session and was taking a shower, one of his aids rushed to the bathroom and knocked on the glass door, saying "Mr. President something urgent has come up and you need to get on the Air Force One ASAP." Dick Cheney would brief you during the flight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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