The Future Times - First Edition

Written by dgwest7

Friday, 9 January 2009

The Future Times - 29th February 2009 - Last night at 2.15 am, an urgent meeting was called in a high-level government department, where it appears that the wake-up call has been received.

After meditating late into the night, in an undisclosed location somewhere very close to the spiritual border of Tibet, a high ranking government officer received a message from his higher self.

He faithfully remembered every word of it, wrote it down, and transmitted the message to headquarters.

The message read as follows:

    "We have realised that by following the modern model, we have been dumbing down our children. They have been dumbed down by barbaric birthing methods, chemical vaccination, tainted milk, toxic food and water, oppressive parents, hardly-capable teachers, misguided superstitions, officious employers, corrupt politicians, restricted knowledge, total lack of spiritual guidance, mobile phone transmissions, filthy air and water, childish TV and several other unhealthy practices".

    "We have a remedy for all of these problems, as follows.

    "As from midnight tonight, all babies milk will have melamine excluded. Instead, the new additive will be a form of white powdered hashish. This is in an attempt to make up for the twenty five percent lack of brain growth created by the deficiency of natural breast milk.

    "In order to ensure that there is sufficient THC available to awaken the entire planetary population, a new global tax law has been passed. Anyone cultivating less than five marijuana plants annually will be taxed on a monthly basis, reducing only when a qualifying plant has grown above 50 centimetres high.

    "The long standing problem of lack of sleep for the middle-school children has been solved by the discovery of a strain of marijuana that brings on a relaxing drowsiness that encourages deep restful sleep. This will be administered in evening meals in all schools and is strongly recommended for use in the home. All classes after 5pm, and all homework are henceforth abandoned, in order to ensure that there is sufficient leisure time to allow the students to grow beyond the stage of child.

    "Special rehabilitation courses are being introduced throughout all countries to educate parents into human rights, so that their offspring are less oppressed."

The tobacco manufacturers need no longer worry about sales, as they have converted a large percentage of their tobacco fields over to hemp plants, and every packet of government taxed cigarettes now contains at least 30 percent marijuana. However, prospects for the alcohol industry are not good.

The major hospitality sessions in government and business circles, where the participants have traditionally become blind drunk, have been significantly changed.

The spirit bottle has been replaced by a hookah, which burns throughout all proceedings, ensuring that all parties present receive a good intake of THC.

The amazing revelations that have become public knowledge as a result of the ensuing honesty has enabled the average citizen to gain a greater understanding of reality, and a decision has been made to immediately halt the repression of the people. It is now considered that sufficient people have received sufficient education to be able to deal with the truth, so little by little, all government and international secrets are being divulged.

In addition, the re-incarnation of the hemp business, with its 26000 products, all organic and entirely natural, has set aside hemp practitioners in the business world as an oasis of post-modern thought. The development of a plastic substitute made from a mixture of hemp oil and hemp strands has released one of the urgent needs for oil bi-products, and it has been discovered that by using hemp instead of oil, the levels of pollution have been reduced to negligible.

With the Shiva-like effects of hemp pervading the entire society, it has become impossible for the politicians to get across their ludicrous propaganda, and they have now all given up, and disappeared into oblivion, proving beyond doubt that government is totally surplus to requirements.

An unbelievably huge epidemic of freedom has broken out all over the planet, as all the ridiculously bureaucratic government controls are removed. No customs or immigration departments, no police, no armed forces, no prisons, no secret services, no judges or courts - just ordinary people wanting to get on with an ordinary life, without the interference of mental retards.

So many people suddenly became so helpful towards each other that the worst-off and most miserable had their pains rapidly eased, and the entire tone of society has become a whole octave higher.

And they all lived happily together ever after.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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