Your Horoscope: Taurus

Written by Kent Pete

Saturday, 5 July 2008

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Your horoscope with special guest Astrologer Jimmy Choo

An overwhelming desire to be alone could be the result of some shocking news. Someone has done something totally out of character, and you're not sure how to process it. There will be a murder in your immediate family this week. Have you an Uncle Derek or an Auntie Pam? If so, on no account visit them, even if they promise to revise their wills in your favour.

On a brighter note this is a good time of the year to start dieting. With the moon in Saturn edging you ever closer to Mars this is the time to lose that unsightly fat around your midriff.

Let's face it your partner has lost all interest in you sexually and only continues in the sham you call a marriage because they haven't sorted out alternative accommodation yet.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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