The Ark of the Covenant returned to Jerusalem

Funny story written by Hotlikecold

Sunday, 4 November 2007

In no way does the author and/or his/her affiliates endorse the use of scheduled substances without the supervision of a registered doctor of medicine nor the manufacture thereof.

The Ark of the Covenant as it is constructed in the Bible, with the ingredients that were used, was a vat used to cook essential oils from pith in a process known as electrochemical reduction.

Pith is plant material; calamus; cinnamon; mryhh; vinegar or acid was added to the base which in those times was copper or iron. Exposed to the heat of the Sun this caused a chemical process by which the pith was reduced to it's essential oils. The Holy anointing oil!

The process described in the Bible to do this is exactly the same process used to manufacture crystal meth and many other essential oils! Crystal meth is an essential oil of Ephedra manufactured by the electrochemical reduction process, using hydriatic acid, red sulfur as a base and Ephedra. It is the same process. The oil is simply washed in acetone to remove excess water molecules in todays process to make a smokeable form. I note further similarities based on biblical stories told as well documented war facts:

  • The process of chemical reduction produces dangerous and explosive chemical gas
  • When Uzzah reached out to touch it, he caused a static electricity spark and was smote by an explosion.
  • The Ark of the Covenant was known to cause lethal explosions.
  • Just like a crystal meth lab.

  • The Ark of the Covenant was to be handled by special people.
  • The tribe of Levi was to adorn heavy protective vests made of stones to protect them from an explosion.
  • Just like a crystal meth lab.

  • The Ark of the Covenant had to be handled in a special way
  • They were only to approach the Ark from a distance with an open flame to reduce the chance of serious injury.
  • They were to carry it three days ahead of them to reduce injury.
  • They were to place it in a tent to funnel the explosive gas away.
  • Just like a crystal meth lab.

  • The Ark and the anointing oil used by their armies was known to sustain them without food or water for days
  • It struck fear into the hearts of their enemies.
  • Just like today's armies still take Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine.)
  • Just like yesterday's armies who took crystal-meth; the Nazis and the Japanese.
  • Just like a crystal meth lab.

The Ephedra plant - a constituent of mryhh was abundant, and the calamus plant both were available in that area in those times and both are used in the production of amphetamines. And when combined and reduced through electrochemical reduction in conjunction with each other ephedra and calamus produce 3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine, MDMA or Ecstasy. Ephedra reduced alone produces N-a-dimethyl-phenethylamine or crystal meth.

The Ephedra plant is depicted on King Rasta's tomb. (Later mistaken for Marijuana.) King Rasta communioned with Jah (God.) And King David himself danced half naked in the streets upon its return to Jerusalem he was so happy. The Ark of the Covenant is thought to be the radio to God. It is a Scientific instrument. But, I put forward it is not the Ark which is the radio but, our minds attenuated to a certain frequency as per the guidelines of radio frequency emissions by the manipulation of our pineal glands.

Crystal meth and MDMA are essential oils of ephedra and calamus in crystalline form manufactured by the electrochemical reduction process. It is the same process used in the Ark of the Covenant to produce the Holy Anointing Oil; from the same ingredients used in the exact same process. It is the Holy Anointing Oil.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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