Battalion commander, Col. McCoy, was sitting at the head of the long table, his staff and unit commanders flanking him. McCoy opened the meeting by saying: Gentlemen, we have gathered here to formally ascertain the real cause of last night's trouble and to take necessary measures to prevent any further recurrence. Shortly, I shall be briefing regiment commander and probably he, Div. Co. Gen.; therefore, I would like to ask Vet Rufus, battalion vet, to explain why he instructed 1st Company to restrain and strap H-345, a move which resulted in last night's turmoil. Rufus:
- Sir, during my routine inspection, I found H-345 lean and unfit for combat. First, I assumed H-345 was not eating well. My further inquiry revealed that H-345 had been regularly visiting a mule, well, a male mule. I found it extremely necessary to confine H-345 to his stable. Obviously, water had to be brought to him in a bucket. As a precautionary step, I additionally asked company's master sergeant to strap one rear leg to the ground so that H-345 may not be able to kick.
Col. asked Capt. Phillip, 1st Company Commander if Rufus's instruction had been carried out. Phillip:
-- Absolutely, Sir. However, I would like to add that not only H-345 but also some other clever animals are capable of unbuckling straps. They use their lips and teeth. I am sure H-345 unbuckled the army issue strap in a second when time came for leaving the stable. (Everybody's eyes turned to Rufus for denial or confirmation. He chose to remain silent, therefore, Phillip continued):
-- Well, Sir, having heard Vet Rufus's instruction, I asked him if he was sure H-345 was ill. He was certain about it. Then I told him that as long as I remembered H-345 had always been a bit wiry, but he rejected the idea.
McCoy:
-- Vet Rufus, I presume you considered H-345's affair instrumental to his lean body. Rufus:
-- Absolutely, Sir. H-345 had wasted a lot of energy.
Now, McCoy turned to Surgeon Alistair to give his views who said:
-- Well, Sir, I believe horses are Vet Rufus's domain. However, I agree that some vital minerals are wasted through coupling, but the protein needed for muscle build-up is not greatly outpoured. In humans, excessive physical exercise, or mental stress might lead to a scrawny built.
Now, McCoy turned to Rufus, looking very tense, for his conception, who said:
-- Sir, this behavior of H-345 is unacceptable. My conviction is that this behavior must be stopped. As Surgeon Alistair said, some vital minerals are unnecessarily wasted.
Col. McCoy asked Capt. Philip, a battle-tested veteran, for his viewpoint. Capt. said:
-- If intercourse makes a horse unfit for combat, Sir, it should make all bachelor or married fighting men unfit, too. (Uneasiness gripped the briefing room.) Philip went on:
