Who says torture is wrong?

Funny story written by aningeniousname

Tuesday, 13 February 2007

Now if you're like me, you're probably wondering what all this torture nonsense you keep reading in the liberal press is all about.

Well my friends let me set you straight on a few little torture factoids, you might not be aware of and you definitely wont read in a bleeding heart liberal paper like the New York post.

Factoid 1

The genetic make up of your average street Arab makes him/her totally immune to all but the harshest methods available. Surprised? I was too! I only discovered this interesting little known unpublicised factoid by logging on to Ilovethecia.com

Factoid 2

Most Arabs when taken into protective custody by the forces of all that is good and just in the world, actually request the torture option. Now this may surprise a few New York leftist pinko bastards. But if they actually knew anything at all about the Arab mind and culture they would know that polite interrogation is a cultural insult in the sandy kingdoms of the near east.

Factoid 3

Arabs are immune to electricity due to a recessive gene dating back to time when huge electrical storms raged across that area striking the desert dwelling nomads continually until they eventually built up a resistance to the aforesaid natural phenomenon.

Now that you have been educated a little, maybe next time you hear some Stalinist pig screaming about "torture" you can politely tap them on the shoulder and remind them about a few little known factoids that they obviously couldn't be bothered to research for themselves.

And then and only then will you be able to use your god given right as an American citizen to punch them to the floor and rain a series of well placed kicks to their body and of course their fat communist heads.

Cheerio, till next time readers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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