Jennifer Aniston has been chosen as "Man of the Year" by GQ (Gentleman's Quarterly) Magazine. Her selection for this honor has begun speculation that:
1. Aniston has recently had a sex change operation.
2. Jennifer is a hermaphrodite.
3. GQ is such a girly-man type of magazine that they can't tell the difference between men and women.
4. GQ is doing this as a publicity stunt to sell more magazines.
5. GQ is doing this as a ruse because if they say she is their "man" of the year, they can show topless pictures of her and get away with it.
6. GO readers are all too stupid to recognize the errors of the editorial board of the magazine.
7. The Magazine has a percentage of the box office of Aniston's new movie (Derailed) and is attempting to get publicity to boost box office sales.
Aniston was, of course, thrilled by the honor. She was so thrilled, in fact, that she took off her top and posed for the cover shot (see idea #5).
Former husband Brad Pitt was also somewhat intrigued by the announcement. "Jennifer is someone's man of the year? Is this like Time Magazine picking a computer as their man of the year or something? Is this supposed to be some kind of insult towards me because I wouldn't pose for the magazine? Are they trying to say that she wore the pants in our relationship? This is just too stupid for words."
Lisa Kudrow, former co-star on the television series "Friends," was confused by the announcement. "Wait a minute? If she's really a guy, does that mean we had four men and three women on the show? Does that mean that when the guys slept with her, they were homos? Is one of the guys really a girl? How is this going to affect my residuals? This is just too weird!"
AOL Time Warner Communications, publishers of Time Magazine and Sports Illustrated, have long awarded their own Man of the Year and Sportsman of the Year. Jack Polevault of their Board of Directors was upset by this choice. "This throws a real monkey wrench in things. Now people are going to expect us to do something stupid like name President Bush as Slimeball of the Year of Barry Bond's steroids as Athlete of the Year. This is not a good way to start a trend!"