Jennifer Wilbanks Escape By Greyhound

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 2 May 2005

image for Jennifer Wilbanks Escape By Greyhound
Just taking a short bus ride.

Well, so the bride had some issues and she hopped on a Greyhound bus heading for places unknown and ended up in Albuquerque. And instead of signing a prenuptial agreement, her fiancee had to take a lie detector test, which he passed, giving all a renewed confidence in lie detector tests. Yes, her relatives and friends went through agony fearing the worst, but there is another grim issue that lurks silently: How many married women around the world hearing of Ms. Wilbanks bus ride, regretted their failure to take a similar bus ride three days before their wedding? The numbers could be mind boggling. Perhaps Greyhound bus trips should be an added factor in wedding preparations along with china pattern; silver, cake, flowers, blood test and wedding gown. Short trip alone. The lie detector test? It's okay. After all, whose wedding is this anyway?

But why Greyhound? Certainly, she wasn't motivated to cut costs after reading Republican Majority Leader Tom De Lay's astronomical travel expenses. Which brings up another important issue: style. This prenuptial Greyhound bus trip should be upgraded. Who doesn't love an upgrade? Instead of Greyhound, why not hop on a 747 for London, take in the atmosphere, chunnel to Paris, wander the Marais, try on some Miyake, have ice cream at Amorato's and decide if you really, really want to go through with this 700 guest wedding and marry Mr.?. Incidentally, who knows 700 people besides Prince Charles? And does Charles really know 700 people? And unless Ms. Wilbanks is a super organized individual, she would probably have to spend the next few years sending out thank you notes. Maybe that's the reason she zoomed to Albuquerque via Greyhound without luggage. Not even that old stand by plastic garbage liner, tied with a smart tartan ribbon or raffia.

So, she's home again. Safe. Alive. Hair a little shorter, but a lot wiser, and has the silent mental support of all those women around the world who failed to take that quickie Greyhound bus ride to anywhere.

Tabloids report Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were married in Las Vegas without children, friends or Bruce. They flew by private jet. They probably had luggage, but no need for Thank You notes. Not an Issue.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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