Leonardo DiCaprio's Skimpy Bikini-Clad Girlfriend Bar Refaeli Shows Why Leo Is One Lucky You-Know-What!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - One of the most popular Sports Illustrated swimsuit models of all time is Bar Refaeli.

The 25-year-old Israeli beauty has sold over 9 million posters of herself clad in various types, colors, and sizes of bikini swimsuits.

And the one she recently wore while sunning down at the beach at Cabo San Lucas was perhaps one of the skimpiest in her swimsuit closet.

One beach observer, Tino Del Vino, 43, an unemployed bullfighter from the state of Yucatan, said that he observed her with high powered binoculars and that he could actually see some tiny hairs sticking out of her bikini bottom.

Del Vino proudly proclaimed that he sold six of the photos to the National Enquirer, three photos to The Left Coast Mirror magazine, and two photos to noted bikini swimsuit bottom enthusiast Jack Nicholson.

The girlfriend of Leonardo "The Lucky SOB" DiCaprio can certainly brighten up a stretch of beach better than just about any woman. She can make surfers forget about the waves. She can make swimmers forget about the water. And she can make alcoholics forget about alcohol.

The woman who noted female body connoisseur George Hamilton, who recently celebrated his 89th or 93rd birthday, once said has curves on her body that are so erotically sensuous that they have been outlawed in the Mormon state of Utah, the Eskimo state of Alaska, and the peanut butter state of Maine.

Refaeli's personal hair stylist, FuFi Fondue of Beverly Hills, has disclosed that Leonardo (DiCaprio) is so jealous of Bar that he wanted her to wear a modern day chastity belt that was devised by former NBA basketball rebounding champion Dennis Rodman when he was married to the lusciously lascivious Carmen Electra.

Word on the street is that Refaeli told Leo exactly what he could do with his chastity belt.

In other news. Dr. Laura Schlessinger has stated that she is sick and tired of having to constantly deny the rumor that she is a lesbianite. She told Barbara Walters that just because she once greeted fellow GOP diva Ann Coulter with an erotically sensuous French Kiss does not mean that she wants to bump biscuits with women.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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