Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 10 December 2010

image for The Truth About Miley Cyrus And The "Bong"
Miley Cyrus' 18th birthday cake. (Photo courtesy of Kirstie Alley).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus, who turned 18 on November 23, appears to still be celebrating her birthday almost three weeks later.

The pole dancing, lap dancing, hip hop dancing teenage songstress has not been told that her birthday party is over.

A close female friend identified only as "Moon Mangoes" stated that Miley is so excited about turning 18, that she is still munching on birthday cake candles.

"Moon Mangoes" confided that she is afraid that Miley may end up sharing a room with Demi Lovato at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic if she does not settle down a bit and stop to smell the roses, the coffee, or in her case, the Vagisil.

Miley has stated that since turning 18, she has become the woman that she always dreamed about. She has remarked to her father, former country singer Billy Ray "Mullet Man" Cyrus that she will give out as many lap dances as she wants and that no one, not him or her mother, or even President Barack Obama himself is going to stop her.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Miley mentioned the president because she has been to the White House on numerous occasions not only as a performer, but as a slumber party guest, a guitar instructor (to Malia and Sasha as well as Michelle) and in the capacity of a $20 an hour babysitter.]

Young Cyrus has said that the three men that she most admires are her dad, President Obama, and Ryan Seacrest.

Miley was asked by a reporter for The Tinsel Town Times Tribune about the photos and video of her holding and using a bong. The former Hannah Montana smiled, giggled, took a drink of her Sprite Zero and remarked that first of all the bong did not belong to her. Secondly it was empty. And thirdly she was so messed up from the fumes of the bong that she does not even remember seeing the bong in question.

SIDENOTE: Miley is planning on traveling to the African country of Dutch West Wakaboonka to do a concert to benefit the Dutch West Wakaboonkians who have been bitten by lions, leopards, panthers, cobras, and doodlebugs.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Miley Cyrus, bong

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