Mel Gibson Picked a Bad Week to Quit Smoking

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 11 November 2010

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Mel Gibson's Front Door, Leading to Action Packed Festivities Throughout the Day

Ordered to pay $60,000 in back child support and with other settlement charges pending, Mel Gibson is reportedly back on an in-home rampage as a means to redirect his anger and frustration over recent events with former gal-pal, Oksana.

According to Gibson's new personal assistant, Alan Meekman, Gibson had sworn off all forms of artificial but legal stimulants and depressants just prior to the financial judgment. "He gave up cigarettes, alcohol, energy drinks, antihistamines, diet pills, sleep aids, cough syrup and the Oprah Network. I don't have the will to actually enter the house, but I take my orders from Mel through the mail slot on the front door".

Those orders seem quite odd to the outsider, as trucks from various home decorating companies continue to arrive at the now modest Gibson home. Neighbors can see box after box of tableware and glassware being delivered almost as if Gibson were stocking up to supply a 5 star restaurant. "That is until you hear the occasional tirade", says one neighbor who refused to give his name. "Following a series of carefully selected four and five letter words, you can hear the glass and plate breakage from my living room, even with all the doors and windows closed".

Gibson appears to be maturing a bit in the process however, reports Meekman. "He stopped ordering china and crystal after the first day, and is now shopping at discount stores for fresh supplies. That tells me he is thinking about the ramifications of his actions and that is a positive sign. He's even stopped calling me limp wristed Jew, which is nice as well".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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