X-Factor - Chloe Mafia Fears For Her Future After Call Girl Allegations

Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

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I Can Fookin Sing! Ya Bastards! Just Gi' Us A Chance!

X-Factor boot camp contestant Chloe Mafia, known in some quarters as the Yorkshire tart with a heart, has apparently expressed fears that the gravy train may become derailed following allegations that she works as a prostitute, and that she is simply symptomatic of celeb obsessed 'something for nothing disease.'

Friends relate that she just wants to 'turn an honest buck' (We think she said Buck) and that she simply wants to be famous, successful, and revered by everybody - a bit like Jordan.

One person, who described Chloe as a close friend, told us:

"Leave lass alone. She's awright. Just coz she does a bit o' lapdancin' on't side, an' a birruv escort work don't make her a nasty cow. She's well class is Chloe, she can dance and sing a bit and boil an egg and stuff, and she's been vajazzled, and she's got tattoos. Not only that - she smokes roll ups too, so nipper can 'ave a good life and that. I wish folk'd just gi' her a break. She's only tryin' to make a livin.'"

Simon Cowbell stated that he was only trying to give people a chance in life to earn him tons of dosh, and that Chloe Mafia's offscreen activities aren't relevant as far as the X-Factor goes.

"It's all about the music," Simon said smugly. "That's what really counts."

Mind you - no fucker believed him.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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