Naomi Campbell Faces Ten Years In Prison For Taking Uncut Diamonds Out of South Africa

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 11 August 2010


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image for Naomi Campbell Faces Ten Years In Prison For Taking Uncut Diamonds Out of South Africa
A photo of Naomi Campbell standing on a step ladder and adjusting one of her modeling awards.

NEW YORK CITY - Well it appears that the prima donna/diva who likes to brag about belittling, berating, and hitting her employees may find herself on the way to the "Big House" (Prison).

Naomi "The Bitch From Hell" Campbell is finally getting a taste of how it feels to be mistreated.

One of her former maids, Elvira Sue Franklin, 49, recalls how three years ago, she prepared Campbell's favorite food Fried Chicken Wings smothered in Watermelon Juice.

Well it seems that Naomi happened to find a little white watermelon seed in the juice. And instead of merely picking it out and going on with her food chompin' the singing skank called Elvira over to the table and she made her remove the seed with a pair of tweezers.

After she did Campbell took the tweezers and pulled out three of Elvira's nostril hairs. Miss Franklin said that she quit right then and there.

When she got home she told her boyfriend Rufus Tyrone McJefferson, 37, who wanted to go over to Campbell's house and beat the hell out of the sick bitch with one Elvira's Nike tennis shoes.

And so as the saying goes, what goes around comes around. Campbell is now whining and crying and saying that she had no idea that it was illegal to take uncut diamonds out of South Africa.

Her attorney Algonquin P. Butterflucker says that Campbell will plead ignorance of the law. Butterflucker is not stupid, although he certainly gives off that appearance, and he knows full well that ignorance of the law is no excuse, not even with someone like Naomi "The Mean Fiend" Campbell.

Campbell told a reporter for Fox News that she cannot go to prison because she has already scheduled a 92 city concert tour of the south starting in September and running through December.

Naomi is not really considered a singer per se and she was asked why she would book a 92 city concert tour when she doesn't even sing. Naomi said that she did not have to answer any questions since she is not a criminal.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Well I for one hope that the fat-assed arrogant ho goes to prison. She has treated her employees much worse than any Civil War plantation overseer ever did. She is nothing more than a spoiled diva with a piss poor English accent. And it will be interesting to see if Lady Campbell treats her fellow female inmates, who will probably average 6 feet 2 inches tall and weigh around 305 pounds, the way she treated her employees. I think not.]

[EDITOR'S NOTE 2: It is a fact (in my opinion) that Naomi Campbell along with Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter, Nancy "Graceless" Grace, and Joan "The Jewish Douche Bag" Rivers are four of the most hated women in the entire United States.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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