SOHO, England - The girl who sang the hit song "I Kissed A Girl" has reportedly told her fiance Russell "The Vulgarian" Brand that he had better stop his 24/7 cussing or else she will call off their marriage.
Perry said that she grew up in a very religious home where one did not even dream about saying the words urinate, pee pee, wee wee, titties, or menage-a-trois.
She said that for as long as she has known Rusty, as she refers to Russell, that she has simply tolerated his coarse, rude, vulgar, and nasty language.
Katy said that she put her foot down when they met Queen Elizabeth at a Buckingham Palace barbecue and he went up to her royal highness and asked her if she had ever fantasized about doing the rumpy pumpy with one of her palace guards.
Perry said that she had never been more embarrassed in all her life. After the queen came to, she apologized to her for her fiance's behavior and told her that he was on medication as he had a bad case of the stupids.
The queen smiled and whispered in her ear to gather up her bastard bloke and leave the palace at once before she had him arrested and imprisoned in some far off British Island prison where Mr. Brand would survive by eating his own spit.
As the two left, Katy told her somewhat inebriated future husband that if he ever behaved that way again he would hand him over to Amy Winehouse who in all actuality is more in his league.
She then told him that she kind of wishes that she had stayed with her New York musician boyfriend Travis McCoy, who treated her like a lady and only cussed in front of her one time, and that was when they were at The Bronx Zoo and he accidentally got bit by a rabid flamingo.
She smiled and said that even then, as bad as the bite was he only said, "Shucks!"
SIDENOTE: Katy Perry who had hits with her songs "I Kissed A Girl" and "I Kissed A Woman" said that her next single will be, "I Hope That One Day Sandra Bullock Kisses Me."
