Little and Large Sold at Auction

Funny story written by Bertram Chapley

Wednesday, 14 December 2005

image for Little and Large Sold at Auction
Little and Large - which is which ?

BOLTON, LANCS -Top comic duo, Little and Large, have been sold at an auction in Skelmersdale. It is reported that initially the reserve on lot 34 was not met but the auctioneer played a blinder and disposed of the pair separately as lot 34 and lot 34A.

Sid Little (real name Sydney Little) and Eddie Large (real name Edward Large) came together on the talent show New Faces in 1973 and were quickly snapped up by the BBC and Atlantic Records.

They hold the all time record audience figures of 36 million for their Little and Large Experience screened on 16th September 1979 and their best selling album 'Little and Large's Best Selling Album was a best selling album.

They captivated audiences of all ages for eight years until it was revealed that ITV had jumped in with a five year contract worth £200 million. The switch over to ITV failed and the duo flopped.

A revival was attempted in 1991 but Eddie was diagnosed with Bulimia and Sid put on 15 stone after contracting a thyroid disorder. The tried to pass each other off as each other but this rouse failed to captify their audience and the first series of Little and Large - The Return was took off the schedules after only one show.

In 1998 they tried to change their name to Ant and Dec and this went unnoticed until their Geordie accents slipped and they were withdrawn from the pantomime Aladdin at Shrewsbury Town Auditorium.

Seller Angus McFadden snapped up the pair at a car boot sale near Stoke in 2003 but did not realise what he had bought until he watched Antiques Roadshow last year when he saw Arthur Negus handling French and Saunders, a crime for which he has since been acquitted of as he successfully claimed his glassed were steamed up.

Angus realised that he may have acquired something of value and contacted a dealer who said he was fresh out of E's but had a stack of C.

Although the pair were sold separately they have been seen grazing together in the same field adjacent to the M61 at Rowtenstall.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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