Oksana Grigorieva Reveals A Dark Hidden Secret

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 30 July 2010

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Mel and Oksana's baby daughter Lucia, aka Sparky. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

LA BREA, California - Oksana Grigorieva, the ex-future wife of Mel "The Screamin' Aussie" Gibson told Barbara Walters that she has a dark hidden secret.

Walters, sat in in Oksana's little, two-bedroom house trailer in La Brea's The Left Coast Sunset Trailer Park holding her baby daughter, Lucia, aka Sparky, who was fathered by "Old Yeller" himself, Mel Gibson.

Miss Grigorieva, dressed in torn shorts, a torn blouse, and a bra missing one of the cups for some unexplained reason, told Walters that ever since Mel made his 19 angry phone calls to here in which he was screaming at her at the top of his effen lungs she has had trouble hearing.

She said that at night as she lays down to go to sleep she can hear the crazed mad Australian (her words) and she has to quietly get up and pour herself a glass of Russian vodka.

The Russian born pianist says that she has never before had more than two or five vodkas a day and now she confides that sometimes she has as many as six or eleven.

Walters asked if she has a drinking problem. Oksana shook her head and said that it is not really a problem like having the mumps, the German measles, or split ends, but that it is starting to cut into her piano practicing time, her soap opera watching time, and her nude yoga meditation.

SIDENOTE: Grogorieva said that she has been booked to play at the grand opening of the newest Papa Pepe's Land of The Enormous Enchiladas Diner in La Brea. She said that she is thrilled because now she will finally have money to buy Sparky some baby food, baby diapers, and a baby rattle.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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