Gossip Girl Taylor Momsen - Armed And Dangerous

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 13 May 2010

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Watch Out - Taylor's About!

It seems that the revelation that 'Gossip Girl' teen queen Taylor Momsen routinely carries knives in her bag is just the tip of the iceberg, and concerned parents are up in arms.

The blonde 16 year old starlet, renowned for wearing way too much slap, and dressing like a Hollywood hooker at all hours of the day and night, also apparently carries a live hand grenade in her bag, a source told us.

"She's a bad girl, right enough," eccentric British film director Buffty Ginslinger told us from his favourite Soho watering hole. "Not only does she carry a switchblade and a hand grenade in her bag, she also has a Glock 9 tucked into her belt, a .38 strapped to her ankle, a Bowie knife strapped to her thigh, and a Rambo bow and arrow set slung across her shoulder. She's a veritable one-girl army!"

But parents of impressionable teens were less impressed, and roundly condemned young Momsen for setting a bad example to impressionable teens.

"If my daughter, my little girl, the apple of my bleedin' eye come home with her hair all bleached, dressed like a bloody tart," fuming father of two Alf Alphaman told us."At eleven o'clock in the morning. Or night. I'd lock her up in her room for a year. Nail the door shut. And board up the bleedin' windows! Like Josef 'BLOODY!' Fritzel, or whatever 'is name is."

Taylor Momsen was unavailable for comment, although rumours abound that she is considering a cameo role in Buffty Ginslingers forthcoming biopic of TV wrestler Mick McManus.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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