"I spent Kerry's millions"

Written by Proffitt

Monday, 19 April 2010

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Croft spending millions

Mark Croft the 'easy to like' ex of Kerry Katona today admitted to what we all knew being that he spent most of Kerry's money. "Ok I admit it I spent all the money on booze, drugs and parties but now all I want is my kids," was his heartfelt plea!

Sleeping on the floor of a friends house Croft (no relation to the sherry making family) and now feasting on such delights as beans on toast, scrambled eggs and bread and butter told us "I don't miss that money at all."

Having spent millions on drugs and booze he now plans to spend tax payer's money in a no-hope battle for his kids! Posing for photographers in ripped jeans and with his empty pockets hanging out he told us how he wants to show the court what a dedicated father he is.

A respected barrister said "A suspected drug dealer, drinker, layabout and living at his mates wants to take responsibility for his kids? I don't see how he has a cat in hells chance."

We say "Mark Croft - who are ya?!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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