News is filtering through of a series of crisis meetings held in London today regarding the future of Girls Aloud amid fears that the girls will never reunite in order to complete their remaining three album contractual obligations.
The band, founded in 2002 on reality TV show, Pop Stars: The Rivals disbanded for a year in order to pursue a number of solo projects, with varying degrees of success.
Cheryl Cole has become one of the world's most recognisable faces, having married and then separated from a Premier League footballing chump, appeared as a winning mentor and judge on TV's X-Factor, and carved out a chart topping solo career as an artiste in her own right, determined to Fight For This Love although she didn't specify precisely which love she would be fighting for.
Sarah Harding has become an iconic global blonde bombshell bikini babe cliche, who harbours aspirations of being globally satirised and spoofed by uber talented piss taking bastards such as those frquenting the murky pages of TheSpoof,com
To all external appearances, Irish band member Nadine Coyle has all but given up on the group as she works on a solo album in LA, which she seems in no hurry to complete after being lambasted by fellow band members for failing to support Cheryl Cole during her traumatic marriage break up.
Kimberley Walsh appears to be following in Cheryl Cole's footsteps as a TV icon, having signed up to present a searing documentary series for Sky TV about jeans.
The other one, Nicola Roberts doesn't appear to have done much of anything really, but we've got our researchers on the case.
An insider told us:
"To be honest, I can't see them getting back together at all. Not even to make the three albums they're under contract to do. They've all drifted too far from the fold and are too wrapped up in their own business. Frankly, they're so big they can afford to walk away from their contract and deal with it through the courts. That deal wasn't a very good one anyway, and I'm sure the girls feel that they've been ripped off."
The final word on the situation was contributed by The Bonkettes charismatic singer BJ Swallow, who, reclining on a chaise longue sipping pure ethanol through a glass straw told us:
"So they're not getting back together. So what? They were fucking crap anyway."
*Cheryl Cole is still only 5'3"
