The Jesse James "TattooGate" Saga Continues With Cycle Chick #4

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 26 March 2010


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Long Beach Police Officer Anthony Acapella (R) in charge of crowd control outside of Jesse James' West Coast Choppers.

LONG BEACH, California - West Coast Choppers, which is owned and operated by Sandra Bullock's, as of now still-husband, Jesse "Mr. Peckerwood" James has become one of the busiest places in America.

A Long Beach police officer who asked not to be identified said that there are more people visiting WCC than there are people at Chicago's O'Hare Airport.

Officer Anthony Acapella, (oops, sorry Tony) stated that since it was announced that there is now a "TattooGate" Cycle Chick #4, the place has been buzzing with people wanting to see where that piece of sh*it womanizing Jesse James works.

Acapella was asked who Cycle Chick #4 is. He said that all that he was allowed to say, at this time, is that the woman of interest is a Left Coast model who has been described as pretty, tall, tattooed (of course) and a somewhat bosomy biatch.

CC#4 reportedly has confessed that she has a lot of Jesse James items including 173 text messages and 194 emails.

She also revealed that she has 71 photos of JJ's tattooed taco tickler in various stages of arousal as well as an Etch-A-Sketch drawing of above noted "TT" (which she saved).

She grinned, took a sip of her Tequila Slammer, and shyly added that she also has a life-size wax figurine of "Senor Dicko" the name that she said Jesse used to introduce his "member" to her when they first met.

Acapella said that the LBPD has had to put on six extra motorcycle police officers just to deal with crowd control outside of Jesse "The TattooBoy" James place of business.

The Long Beach police officer was asked what people are saying about Jesse J. He shook his head and replied that he cannot really repeat some of the stuff he is hearing coming out of the beautiful, dainty-looking mouths of some of the fine-looking, bosomy women.

He went on to state that many are holding up signs protesting what JJ has done to his Academy Award-winning, cute, but flat-chested as a Kansas prairie wife the lovely, sad, and depressed Sandra Bullock.

Officer Acappella said that one elderly grandmother Ella Jo Wittflicker, said that she grew up on an Iowa farm and as a young teen her job was to castrate the farm pigs.

She said that she figures that during her high school years she must have denutted close to 3,000 of her father's oink-oinkers.

Ella Jo, who proudly says she is 78-years-young pointed out that she hasn't denutted a pig in close to 60 years but if Miss Sandra Bullock asks her, she would be more than glad to denutt one more big, ugly-looking, mother effen, motorcycle-riding two-legged pig.

Acapella pointed out that out of the 900 women he talked to in an 8 hour shift, 899 supported Bullock and only one supported James.

When asked why the one woman would support a low-life, scum-sucking, bottom-feeding jerk like JJ, officer Acapella smiled and said that the one woman who supported him was Jesse's 103-year-old grandmother Felicia Mae James, who he (Acapella) said is hard of hearing and has not read a newspaper or listened to a news report in 50 years.

To see explicitly graphic photos of Ella Jo Wittflicker denutting some of her father's Iowa farm pigs log on to www.ellajowittflickersgalleryofoinkercastration.yic But be warned the photos are extremely graphic in nature and they are not to be viewed by children, old people, or immature adults.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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