Friday, 10 December 2004

"Randy Savage explodes into your face again with the incendiary album about a time called the eighties and a legendary outlaw who rocked America's ass forever."

Through an exclusive internet source, it has been revealed that, wrestling superstar, "The Macho Man" Randy Savage is due to release a new LP just in time for the holiday season.

"Hulkaholics Anonymous" is mostly improvisational and chronicles Macho's entire life, from conception to death.
Unlike his last rap album, this is a rock format focused more on Macho's love for the eighties.

Since it's release, "Hulkaholics Anonymous" has been despised by music critics for it's raw sound and on-the-fly lyrics. As well, many former WWF wrestlers have taken legal action against Savage for revealing their sexual and recreational excesses, together, in great detail.

When asked how he felt about sharing his most intimate secrets with all of America, The Macho Man replied:
"Well, I'm very excited about everything. This album is something I wanted to do ever since I saw my very first Ratt concert. I always envisioned myself singing into that WWF microphone instead of breaking it over Jake The Snake's head.
Some people may be disappointed in my transition to rock music but, that's really where my heart's always been.
I knew when I was in the recording studio that this was, truly, the only way to chronicle such a prolific career.
As far as intimacy goes, I've already been intimate with just about every WWF superstar since the eighties and, in the album, I cover those moments very thoroughly. I don't care if America doesn't understand The Macho Man, it never really has..."

While critics say "Hulkaholics Anonymous" is the worst thing since Hulk Hogan and The Wrestling Boot Band, I say
The Macho Man always performs. It's obvious after you hear the album, Savage's unrivaled talent and preservation are what continuously fuel America's need for entertainment and excess.

In an exclusive radio interview Savage was quoted saying:
"If I don't see you buying my album at the record shop this holiday season, I'm gonna smash all your presents, put a pine tree in your butt and hang jingle bells from your nipples. Then, I'm gonna drink some egg nog mixed with a little Pabst Blue Ribbon. Do a few lines of meth and then, when you regain consciousness, I'm gonna wrinse and repeat, OOOOOH YEAH!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Wrestling

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