LONDON - Melanie Slade who is a tonsillectomy student at St. Georgie Porgie Hospital in Wembley has turned down her boyfriend's birthday gift of a 2010 cherry red Ferrari for which he paid £140,000 [U.S. $276,000].
Melanie's boyfriend, Theo Walcott, a player for Arsenal football team, said that he was shocked at Mel's rejection of a gift that millions and gillions of girls would have openly accepted (appropriate pun).
Miss Slade simply said that there are several reasons why she sent the car back. One, she does not like fast cars. Two, she does not like red cars. Three, she does not like expensive cars. And four, she does not like Theo.
When asked to explain number four, Melanie simply smiled and said that what she meant to say was that she does not like Theo trying to buy her love with expensive gifts like cars, diamond rings, 18-karat tongue studs, a 24-karat vaginal ring, and a used castle in Windsor.
Theo said that he cannot believe how unappreciative Mel is and he said that he will return the car, get his money back, and take a trip to Hawaii all by himself and when he returns he might just start looking for a new WAG (wife and/or girlfriend).
In news coming out of India. The government of India trying to figure out a way to stop the problem of hunger, which is really getting out of hand, has decided to revisit this 'cows are sacred' ideal.
One expert on world-wide hunger suggested that maybe they could somehow legally transfer the 'cows are sacred' belief into a new, modern, more realistic 'beavers are sacred' principle so that the starving inhabitants of India can start eating the millions of cows that are just roaming around.
