LOS ANGELES - Los Angeles Lakers player Ron Artest has admitted that when he was playing for the lowly Detroit Pistons he would drink cognac during half time.
When asked why he would drink cognac during half time he replied, "I be drinkin' it ta fa gits."
"To forget what"
"To fa gits dat we be gettin' our sorry butts kicked big time."
Artest said that he never encouraged any of the other players to drink with him. He quickly pointed out that he is a quite drinker. He just sat in front of his locker sipping his cognac, eating some beer nuts, and talking on the cell phone with some of his ho gals.
"Raucous" Ron as one of the Laker Girls Markayla Jefferson calls him, said that Ron has tried to date everyone of the Laker cheerleaders but rules strictly prohibit a Laker cheerleader dating a Laker player.
Markayla, who said that she has a degree in Twittering said that the rules do not say nothing about a Laker girl dating a Laker girl or a Laker player dating a Laker player.
When asked if she knows of any Laker girls who are dating Laker girls Markayla smiles, takes the bubblegum out of her mouth and says, "Yeah my roommate Monquisha Stevens she be dating my ex-roommate LaTinda Washington, and my cousin Nevada Shondell Franklin she be dating Sandy Briggstacker, who she be a real pretty firm-titted white girl from Boston organically"
"You mean originally?"
"Yeah, dat be's what's I sez crackerboy, organically."
Meanwhile Ron Artest has stated that no matter what anybody says this is still America. The Artester remarks, "And us Mericans we can does what ever da effen friggin hell we wants to does, cause we be Mericans and Mericans are the home of the brave mofo's and the free birds like dat band from Jesse Jacksonville, Forida (Florida) Leonardo Skinner (Lynyrd Skynyrd) be singins abouts."
Ron is asked if he is at all remorseful. He looks down at his size 16 basketball shoes and says, that it depends. When asked depends on what he says.
"Well it be dependin' on what da hell dat word dat ju just done said means."
In related news. Executives for the NBA Committee of Rules and Regulations are looking into the possibility of perhaps raising the current mandatory NBA IQ from 61 up to somewhere around 83 or so.
