Kelli Carpenter Leaves Rosie O'Donnell Over Sex Problems

Funny story written by Bureau

Tuesday, 3 November 2009


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According to friends or rather, acquaintances, Kelli Carpenter has walked out on Rosie O'Donnell and there may be a huge lawsuit and custody battle.

"Rosie is hoping everything can settle down because she's afraid of losing the custody of their kids" stated one acquaintance.

"Yeah, and about fifty million dollars", stated another.

Both agreed that Rosie would not come out well in any court hearing with her crazy past and reputation.

Although no official reasons have been given, Carpenter has hinted to her actual friends that Rosie has been having sex problems for some time.

"Apparently she just can't 'get it up' anymore", Kelli's friend stated. "Kelli says that she's tried Viagra, Levitra and Cialis. She's tried monkey glands and ginseng and rhino horn. Apparently that's what has been behind her blow-ups as she is certainly stressed and obsessed with this problem."

Meanwhile Rosie's acquaintances say that it's better to avoid her at the present time and that Whoopi Goldberg should not be passing around all those wet noodle jokes on The View."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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