NYACK, New York - Rosie O'Donnell and her wife of five and a half years Kelli Carpenter's marital cruise ship may be heading for some choppy waters.
From all appearances it looks like their 'Love Boat' may have hit an iceberg and is taking on water; lots of water.
The 47-year-old funny lady Rosie, who says she isn't feeling too funny right now said that Kelli is one fanatical housecleaning diva.
The pleasantly plump Ro, as her friend Ellen DeGeneres calls her, said that Kelli is constantly on her about leaving her bras, panties,and cleats scattered all over the house.
Kelli is always complaining that Rosie leaves her bottles of Chivas in the bathroom and that she is constantly using cuss words like [SEVEN CURSE WORDS DELETED BY EDITOR.]
Rosie says that she does not like the fact that when they have guests over that Kelli will make personal remarks like telling them that Rosie can eat three full-sized bananas in 24 seconds flat.
Kelli also likes to tell her guests that Rosie snores louder than all of the men that she has ever slept with of course before she realized that she liked girls more than she liked guys.
Rosie's wife, whom she calls "Kelli Belli," says that Rosie has been shaving the area between her nose and her upper lip for the past four years.
When Rosie was asked what she felt the problem in their marriage was she replied that Kelli thinks that just because she is not overweight, that she is better than Rosie who is way, way overweight.
Rosie also pointed out that Kelli has flat out refused to get a "Each Day I Love Ro Mo and Mo" tattoo on her bottom like she promised Rosie she would do on their wedding night.
O'Donnell has also stated that Kelli is now telling her that there is just too much of an age difference between them. Rosie is 47, and Kelli is 42.
Rosie has said that if they do end up getting divorced that Kelli can keep the house, but she wants the ocean liner The SS Lipstick Lesbian.
SIDENOTE: Rosie is quick to point out that there is no truth to the rumor that she is secretly seeing Wanda Sykes. Rosie says that she thinks that Wanda is a very talented comedian. Ro even told her assistant that Wanda is hilariously funny to the point of even smelling funny.
