After failing miserably to find younger, non-plastic versions of Madonna (well Lady GAGA does try hard!) and Cher, the pop world is frantically trying to discover their latest ICONIC figure!
Rihanna has declared herself the perfect person to adopt the role as the pop/soul icon for the coming years!
The folowing criterion was demanded from the pop industry, first you have to look like a stark raving fucking bonkers, ex-photomodel who can sing a bit, OK no problem there!
Then you have to be rude, punch like Muhammed Ali and swear like a white-hot porno star (f**k me, suck me, blow me and whip me, yeah, yeah, yeah!) cool!
Suck buckets of cocaine and always be high as a kyte, easy!
Dress like a Loony let out of the Happy Farm without clothes and wear designer sunglasses that could cover your boobs! both flat as Dutch pancakes no prob!
This criterion fitted Rihanna perfectly, she has now happily declared herself totally insane and the new, mad as a hatter, GRACE JONES! (who?)
The recession has hit the pop world hard, CD sales are down and certainly nobody wants to look or sing like Madonna or Cher, white and too much plastic!
Rihanna will shock the world, punch the fucking lights out of talkshow hosts and disappear back to her "roots" somewhere between loony LA, Manhatten, MTV and the African bush!
