News achorman Charles Gibson has decided to leave his post in the near future and pass the baton to Diane Sawyer.
"I'm not sure about the exact date", stated Gibson. "I do know it's sometimes after National Breast Appreciation Day on the 28th as the station has big plans for that one."
When asked why he decided to retire now, Gibson answered:
"For one thing, I like thinking for myself and stating my own opinions, not reading out what I have been told to say...hee hee. Just kidding of course."
"Actually, I've had three close calls in three years here at the anchor desk and I'm afraid my luck will run out."
When asked if it was during his visits in Iraq and Afghanistan, Gibson was quick to deny it.
"Oh, those were a piece of cake compared with the three lightning strikes here at the desk. See these burn marks. This is my second desk and look at my special shoes that 'ground' me just in case it happens again. I'm leaving these for Diane."
Told that most people didn't know about the lightning strikes, Gibson answered:
"No, the public know very little about what is going on about anything if all they listen to is the pro-Obama propaganda machines. But, after three lightning bolts and singed pubic and chest hair, I'm outa here, and the sooner the bet...BOOM!!!
