Kiefer Sutherland Regrets Head-Butt, Says He Had His Head UP His Butt!

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 23 May 2009

image for Kiefer Sutherland Regrets Head-Butt, Says He Had His Head UP His Butt!
"Sorry, I Was Druck!"

Kiefer Sutherland says he regrets his recent head-butting incident.

In an interview before reporters from several publications, Kiefer Sutherland says he regretted his famous head-butting incident a couple of week's ago.

"I had my head up my own butt," stated Sutherland. "It's no excuse but several of us had had a lot to drink and I'm standing there talking to Brooke Shields and I'm a little shaky but this guy comes by and sort of knocked Shields over into me and I spilled my drink on both of us."

The other guy turned out to be Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough and the following rage took everyone by surprise, especially McCollough, who says he staggered and fell into Shields.

"I was woozy and I stumbled a bit and the next thing I know this wild man is in my face and yelling at the top of his voice and then he butts me right in the face and breaks my nose", McCullough told the police once they arrived.

"I didn't even know who it was until later."

The police arrested Sutherland and he's due in criminal court on June 22 with the charge of assault.

According to what happens there, McCollough may bring a lawsuit against Sutherland.

A spokeman for Brooke Shields says she was definitely bumped into, but that sometimes happens when there are several people in the same room and drinking heavily. She says that she was glad she wasn't puked on, as has happened before.

Finally, the spokesman stated that Shields had no idea it was going to be a major thing, but that Sutherland had just completely lost it.

This last week Sutherland joked a little about the innocent while appearing on a Late Night Show.

"I guess we know who's the goat in all this?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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