Written by Roy Turse

Friday, 13 March 2009

image for Pirate copy of Below Decks: The Movie seized by police
The film was seized from this pirate production lab

Police in Bristol have today announced the seizure of what they say is a pirate copy of the upcoming Below Decks film. Although the actual movie has not yet been finished, this version has been hurriedly created to cash in on the phenomenon. It is said to have been created by linking together the films 'rushes', the quickly edited pieces of film which eventually are edited into the final movie. This means that none of the post-production special effects work has been completed.

As a result, the actors are all seen running around against a plain green background, talking to people who are not there and dealing with imaginary props and scenery. The green-screen shots are mixed in with still pictures of a ship at sea and Bristol docks, and overdubbed by voices that are obviously not the actors.

At one point, Keira Knightly is seen twirling around and leaping up and down against the green background. Afterwards a hand written sign is shown saying 'Madame Piebottom dances a jig with Percival and Buck.' Shortly afterwards there is a seven minute shot of just the green screen, followed by a notice saying 'A mighty battle between the crew and the giant squid has taken place.' Presumably the seven minute section was to have contained the CGI-created battle.

In spite of the dreadful quality, there has been a huge interest in this version from excited fans wanting to get a pre-release glimpse of what promises to be the film release of the year.

As one of only six people to have seen the pirate copy before it was destroyed, I have been invited to speak at the Below Decks World Convention in Seattle in May.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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