Written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 27 October 2008

image for HSM 15 to Feature Suri Cruise, Shiloh Jolie and Jayden Spears
High School Musical Franchise a Lock for Disney

Disney is already planning to extend the High School Musical movie franchise well into the next decade, with advance contracts being offered for child stars who aren't even actors yet. Sparking a frenzy of activity from Hollywood celebrity moms looking for a share of the Disney spotlight, other 30 to 40-something mothers were lining up their own kids for a part in one of the future HSM productions.

Three of the first to sign were Brad and Angelina, Tom and Katy, followed by Britney without K-Fed. Sources tell us that there was some argument over exactly how many lines each child would get, and who would be considered the "star" of the movie. Lawyers finally agreed that each child will receive not only the same number of lines, but the total count of both words and syllables would be equal for all three as well. Somehow that solution was still unacceptable to Britney who then demanded Icelandic bottled water and a bowl of green M&M's each day for Jayden before she would sign.

Danish film producer Hans Awlover-Kleavagge, pre-selected for the HSM 15 project, answered criticism surrounding each toddler's future acting ability. "The kids today can't act either so it's no big deal. They just need decent dental work and a famous name to make it in this business. Of course the mother must be cute, and willing to promote their child's career by any means necessary. Then it's a win-win situation for everyone, including me!"

Following the signing, Tom Cruise scheduled another appearance on the Oprah show so that he could do a back flip off her couch in celebration over his daughter's new career. Suri responded by making a "nice poo" in the training potty.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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