Written by NickFun

Saturday, 30 August 2008

image for Men Not Feeling Sorry for David Duchovny
Wisconsin housewife Sheila Johnson says she can hardly wait for Duchovny to get out of treatment.

David Duchovny, who plays an oversexed man on cable TV's Californication, admitted himself into a rehab clinic on Thursday for treatment of sex addiction. A recent poll of 52,675 American men reveals that none of them felt any pity.

"I would say that among all the addictions there are that's the one I'd like to have", said Los Angeles bartender Anthony Alfaro. "He's getting pumped five times a day by beautiful women! What the hell's wrong with that?"

"Break out the frickin violins for this guy", said New York construction worker Jerome Archer. "I spent six years getting off smack and we're supposed to feel sorry for this guy because he's getting laid? Gimme a frickin break".

Even the Catholic Church had few words of sympathy for Duchovny's plight. "If he come's here seeking forgiveness I doubt I'll give him any", said St Judas Reverend Paul Sullivan. "It was his choice to have sex with all those women".

Rev. Sullivan later revealed he would like to be in Duchovny's shoes.

"I admit, I'm only going into treatment to save my marriage", the former X-Files star revealed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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