Written by Jeff Tamarkin

Thursday, 20 May 2004

The chorus rang out: "Yo, yo, yo. Yo sistuh be a ho."

In a stiff-finger-filled night on a Hundred Twenty Fiff Street, thousands of crappy rappin rappers, including Emmyem and Rudicrous, gurgled barindead lines from 8 p.m. till dawn, with every last fifty cent going to yo-yos who be dissed.

"We from the hood. Wood if we could. Wood if we could." Repeated 22,637 times.

"Want me some trim. You be lettin me in." 17,402 times.

"My anus ain't black. Be givin me some back." 48,337 times?

Losin track a who they be, the rappin crappers grabbed they crotches like bigassballs monkeys bein in heat, crackin in da street: "I wan chew bad. Check ow my crib. Yo, yo, I wan chew bad."

Mayor Bloomberg popped in for ten minutes: "Well, I don't quite understand this. It looks like fun. Kinda like a black Bar Mitzvah with oreo cream in the middle."

Al Sharpton was also there: "Yo bro, ho ho ho. Wassup?"

Toward the end of the mouthy funky gyration marathon, three songs by new crappy rappers were introduced..."Don't Be Axin No Queschun" by Dukie Doodoo; "Chillin on My Berfday" by Ass King; and "Homey Don't Know Dick" by Turdface.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Charity, Midgets

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