Thurman 'frightened by lack of publicity'

Funny story written by matwil

Thursday, 1 May 2008

Hollywood actress Uma Thurman said today she was 'panicked' and 'frightened' by not getting enough publicity.

The 88-year old said she felt 'sick' after she was reduced to telling the press about some harmless idiot sending her hate mail.

'It was so disturbing', the mother of two said, 'I felt so vulnerable and afraid I had to increase my security guards from 20 to 40.'

Ms Thurman denied that all her mail is carefully screened, and that to get near a Hollywood star or their homes is about as easy as breaking into the White House. And when asked about someone trying getting into her film trailer once, she admitted that he'd failed due to being a hundred yards away at the time.

Ms Thurmann, who was nominated for something once, also said: 'I'm so desperate for some publicity, I've even lowered myself to this. Please put this on the news!'

Her agent was unavailable for comment, as he'd cut himself on a razor blade when putting it into an envelope.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot