"Norma Jean" Blew It?

Funny story written by Walt

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

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"They say it's really me?"

A "long lost" 16mm film of Norma Jean Mortenson in flagrante fellatio was recently sold for USD $1.5 million by the son of an FBI informant. The 15-minute short shows Ms. Mortenson, aka Marilyn Monroe, dressed, on her knees, and getting her chops around an anonymous male member.

Reputedly a "secret" film, a great deal is known by some commentators. FBI director J. Edgar Swoop, notorious partner of long-term live-in male companion Clyde, acquired the footage in an attempt to prove that Norma Jean had sex with either Pres. J.F. Kennedy, his brother R.F. Kennedy, or both. It is likely that Ed and Clyde "expropriated" the little movie for their own role-playing, as a guide on how to dress for the occasion, and as a primer on giving subservient head.

Some sources state the gorgeous woman turns and looks at the camera, showing the famous mole on her left cheek and indicating she knows that it's lights, camera, suction--but does the headless semen donor know he's in a schlurp and squirt film? It was probably not either of the famous politicians or else the vindictive FBI director would have made it public long ago.

A real film of Norma Jean playing hork the dorque with an unidentified schlong would probably make a bundle of porno cash if released as pay-per-view, DVD, etc. People privvy to the black & white XXX state that the actress is completely dressed, which means the cinema verite is a long visual of a fully-clothed woman smokin' the pole on some non-descript dude.

Norma Jean once said, "The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up." Seems very odd that she didn't get butt naked to do her home-made porn performance. Another fitting quotation: "Big breasts, big ass, big deal, Can't I be anything else?" It may be far too convenient that the fellatrix in the flick is not naked, because Norma Jean's voluptuous curves would certainly be a "signature" of authenticity.

If the few minutes alleged to be Monroe playing a sonata on the skin flute were real, this probably would have become public knowledge shortly after her death in 1962, or certainly after the FBI obtained it in 1965 or so. And the fact that the FBI wasted time and money on the film does not make it authentic. And if the little movie is authentic, what percentage of the sale price goes to the estate of Marilyn Monroe?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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