Travelocity Gnome Banned from United Airlines Flights, "Lewd Behavior" cited

Funny story written by AAJetMan

Friday, 14 March 2008

image for Travelocity Gnome Banned from United Airlines Flights, "Lewd Behavior" cited
Gnome--Prefers Vigin

CHICAGO - Citing abuse of its Mileage Plus frequent flyer program, and on-board "lewd behavior", United Airlines (UA) indefinitely banned the Travelocity Gnome from its flights.

In an Internet-based undercover sting, UA caught the Gnome trying to sell frequent flyer miles on the popular auction site eBay. UA promptly froze the Gnome's account, seizing some 453,000 miles, according to an UA official.

Selling frequent flyer miles is in direct violation of UA's policies regarding its Mileage Plus program.

Although such activity alone does not typically warrant banning the customer from travel, the UA official revealed that "this violation coupled with lewd behavior on a recent Chicago to Argentina flight compelled (UA) to impose the ban."

According to a flight attendant operating the Argentina-bound flight, the Gnome "took advantage of his diminutive dimensions while moseying about the cabin approaching women in short dresses".

In a BBC-televised response, allegedly sponsored by Richard Branson, the Gnome responded "I don't need United Airlines and its flight attendants. I prefer Virgin's."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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