Latest reality show, Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack is being held under siege by a former housemate who blames her stint in the house for ruining her career.
Deluded Lisa, from series 4 of the popular reality show, was seen stumbling around the grounds of the house wielding a sawn off shotgun and supping from a bottle of perfume.
Onlookers said: "She looked crazed. Mental even. Perhaps as mental as the show's producers themselves."
Lisa, mental and from Wales, was said to have forced her way into the premises by claiming she was Justin Lee Collins, the current Channel 4 poster boy.
She demanded that the show be removed from the TV schedule until a death row convict was delivered to the house so she could prove her claim that she could kill a human with only two fingers. Previous failed attempts on felines were broadcast on Sky One show 'Celebs Kill Cats' in 2005.
It has been discovered that this claim has gone on to damage Lisa's life so much that she stated in an interview with the Aberystwyth Herald: "I feel like I've sold my soul to the Devil. Or Channel 4."
The Herald also reports that Lisa has spent her time since leaving the house hiding in Welsh caves with a flock of magpies living as one of the birds. She passes the time with her magpie friends stealing perfume and getting drunk.
The last broadcasted footage from inside the house has shown a drunken Lisa screaming gibberish and pulling her hair out. She has been apparently threatening other housemates with the index and middle fingers from her left hand. Eyewitnesses say she may look as though she is suffering from alopecia brought on by excessive perfume consumption.
The show's producers have released the following statement: "At least she isn't a racist."
They have also considered launching a spin-off show to cover the events. Preliminary titles are 'Big Brother's Little Brother's Mad Drunk Cousin'. Desperate 'I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!' winner Kerry Katona is in talks to host the show.
Scientists say there is no known link between alopecia, drinking perfume, and insanity.
The Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack standoff continues.
