Elton John Admits To Ownership of Female Child Pornography

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Thursday, 27 September 2007

image for Elton John Admits To Ownership of Female Child Pornography
Elton John, in another pair of his trademark sunglasses, is upset at the pornography accusations.

Elton John admitted ownership of a photograph of two naked girls that is considered pornographic by British authorities. "It's art!" said the musician when asked about the picture. "It is from the collection by award winning photographer Nan Goldin and is titled Klara and Edda Belly Dancing."

Authorities, however, beg to differ. This is not the first time one of this artists work has been considered pornographic and has been removed from a gallery. In fact, it was the gallery (the Baltic Center for Contemporary Art) that notified the police about the picture.

When told that Elton John possessed child pornography, long time rival Keith Richards was surprised. "What? Has the pansy finally decided that he likes girls? Even liking little girls is better than his tastes for the boys. Were the girls in the picture blondes?" (the last was obviously a reference to Richards' remarks a few years ago about John's writing songs about only dead blondes: Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana.)

Another group that was shocked by the news was the Federation of Anglo Gays (F.A.G.). Group spokesman Bruce Pinkston was "personally appalled to hear this. I just don't know if we want to keep this man as our honorary chairman and poster boy any longer. First he quits wearing the weird hats and sunglasses, and now he starts putting pictures of naked girls up on his walls. Is he a homo or a hetero? Don't give me any of this bi-sexual crap!"

Upon hearing the news, Michael Jackson asked if the artist had any pictures of little boys available.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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