Church spawns Anti-Christ

Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 22 September 2007

image for Church spawns Anti-Christ
Church will be releasing photos of the home birth to Halo! magazine

Cardiff, Wales - (Ass Mess & ReuterUs): Voice of an Angel and Crotch of a Rabid Hyena singing superstar Charlotte Church has given birth.

The 21 year-old Welsh sensation farrowed at her St Brides Major, Vale of Glamorgan home on Thursday night and presented rugby-player boyfriend Gavin Henson with their first-born, a little girl said to be the spitting image of her parents.

Mother and baby are reported to be doing well.

However new father Gavin Henson "is expected home eventually" after legging it to the nearest hostelry having been asked "to do the honours" and cut the umbilical cord in traditional Welsh fashion.

Search parties despatched to find him on Friday night are still missing.

Meanwhile Church's mother is in charge of liaising with PR agents for an exclusive six page colour spread in Halo! magazine which promises to leave no detail of the home birth excluded.

"And that includes the whirlpool birthing tub - before and after! - as well as first glimpses of the after-birth which Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall has already bid for re his next series of River Cottage HypeFest," according the the singer's website today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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