Written by Meat Head

Wednesday, 20 June 2007

Even 4 days after the season finale of the hit HBO drama, The Sopranos, the world seems to still be speculating about what David Chase, formerly known as David DeCesare, was thinking. This morning in a press conference, Chase, the brilliant writer of the Sopranos, has publicly apologized to fans and described to the press his meaning of the season finale.

"I was not aware my brilliance would spark such debate and turmoil, " claimed Chase, "I feel I owe it to the fans to come clean and let them all know my intentions of the season finale." Chase, formerly known as the artist named Prince, continued to describe what he called his "masterpiece of Italian cinema."

"I wanted Tony and his family to be together in one place and mislead viewers into thinking they could be whacked at anytime by introducing suspicious characters into the mix." explained Chase. "As Melody was parking her car after numerous attempts, what viewers didn't see was what I wanted them to see."

Chase, continued to describe the events that were occurring subliminally that he had intended viewers to understand on Wednesday, during the first full moon of the next leap year. What viewers didn't see, while gripping the edge of their seats watching Melody park her car, was the suspicious characters potentially ready to "whack" the Sopranos, were actually the original members of the band Journey.

Another viewer miss was Holsten's, the restaurant the Sopranos were meeting, was the same last name of Chase's wife's college roommate's uncle. Uncle Holsten, as he was called, was also an original member of the band Journey, but was kicked out of the band by front man Steve Perry, when Holsten was found to have elephantiasis of the balls, the very same disease that David Chase had during his childhood.

Chase went on to explain that the number of onion rings in the basket (26) that Tony received at the table is the number that if multiplied by 10, would give you the same number of miles New Jersey is from Washington D.C. DC are also his initials and the number 10 is the same number of letters in the name David Chase.

Finally, but by far the most meaningful message hidden by David Chase, was his deliberate "fade to black" ending. "I needed something that we at HBO could relate to," says Mr. Chase. Evidently, the 10 seconds of black screen at the shows end was a representation of HBO's estimated number of viewers that actually continued watching the program after Season 5.

Brilliant, Mr. Chase. Absolutely brilliant.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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