Alan Colmes Enters the Record Books For Repetition

Funny story written by Cory Withers The First

Wednesday, 7 March 2007

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Although this picture in no way pertains to the accompanying article, the author chose it because he likes women in panties.

Television host Alan Colmes found himself entered into the Guinness Book of World Records for asking the same question the most times in one interview last Monday (fourteen to be exact.)

"So are you going to apologize for calling John Edwards a "faggot?"," the liberal half of Hannity and Colmes repeatedly asked of conservative pundit Ann Coulter. "It was like, no matter how many times I said "No," he just kept asking me the same thing again and again, thinking he would get me to suddenly give him a different answer. I mean you'd think he knows me by now! When have I ever apologized for anything," said Coulter.

When asked how he felt about breaking the record, the practical Colmes said, "Look, it's not like I can sit here and say "Wow it's record I never thought I could break. It was so so hard." I always knew I could break it. In fact, it was quite easy to do. All you have to do is ask the same thing over and over again. Anyone could do it, it's just that I'm one of the few people pathetic enough to actually WANT to do it. Well, me and Sean, I guess."

Colmes is of course referring to Sean Hannity, the conservative co-host of their nightly political television program, Hannity and Colmes. Ironically, the previous holder of the record for asking the same question the most times in one interview was none other than Hannity! He achieved the record back in November of 2005 when he asked New Black Panther Party leader Malik Zulu Shabazz no less than 13 times, "So are you going to condemn Lewis Farrakhan's statements against Jews right here on this program tonight?"

Although, most people would be relieved to finally lose ownership of such an embarrassing record, Hannity is reacting quite conversely. In fact, he has promised to reclaim the record from Colmes within two weeks, by asking the same question FIF-teen times in one evening. "I've got a great opportunity coming up soon. I've got environmentalist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on the show this coming Thursday. I'm going to ask him over and over again if he's a hypocrite for using a personal jet, until he finally answers. He hates when I do that, and he'll never answer the question! I'll be back in the record books before the ink is even dry on Alan's accomplishment."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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