LONDON - Actress Helen Mirren ate a last supper of asperagus with Hollandaise sauce in the Tower of London late last night, sipped Dom Perignon, and prepared to meet her maker.
Mirren's crime: giving a less than flattering portrayal of Elizabeth II in the Fox musical "Last Queen in Scotland."
Her judge and jury: the Queen.
Her executioner: a retired Yoeman of the Guard in a black hood weilding the same ax used on Mary Queen of Scots.
Tower of London guards, known as "Sheepeaters," took Mirren into custody yesterday when she arrived at Heathrowe airport from Los Angeles on her way to visit an ailing aunt.
Mirren's film portrays the monarch refusing to allow a public funeral or to pay public respects after Princess Dinnah's death in 1994. She relents only when her husband Prince Phillips persuades her that she will lose public support forever unless she acknowledges the public's outpouring of grief over the Princess's death.
Clarification (11/29/06, 9:45 GMT):
Further reporting has determined that the actor facing execution was not Helen Mirren, but Forest Whitaker. In his film "The Last King of Scotland," not "Queen of Scotland," Whitaker depicts former Ugandan dictator Milton Obote heaping scorn on the British monarchy and claiming he will help restore the rightful heir to the throne of Scotland, Charles Stewart.
It was Whitaker who landed at Heathrow (not spelled "Heathrowe") to visit a sick aunt. Mirren arrived at Gatwick airport, where she was not arrested, merely bustled trough customs by the authorities to prevent celebrity-ogglers from creating a bottleneck. The actress was in London to appear at a charity benefit for orphans. She set out from New York, not Los Angeles.
Mirren's film is entited "The Queen," was released by Miramax, not Fox, and is not a musical. (Whitaker's film is not a musical, either.) "The Queen" depicts Elizabeth II as initially reluctant to allow a state funeral or to grieve in public for Princess Dianna (not "Dinnah") but deciding on her own that she must do so for the good of the monarchy. Prince Phillip (not "Phillips") is of no help to her in reaching the decision. Diana died in 1999, not 1994. Tower of London guards are called "Beefeaters," not "Sheepeaters." They have no powers of arrest. In all other respects, the story is correct and this newspaper stands behind it.
Further Clarification (11/29/06, 11:05 GMT):
Further reporting has determined that Forest Whitaker was not arrested. He is in Los Angeles, not Britain. A Nigerian national was detained at Heathrow on suspicion of smuggling at the time of Whitaker's supposed arrival. He (the Nigerian, not Whitaker) said he was in Britain to visit a sick uncle (not aunt.) He (the detained Nigeria, not his uncle) is helping police with their investigations.
The Nigerian ate asparagus with Hollandaise sauce on the plane. He was not served Dom Perignon. He is not being held in the Tower of London, which is no longer used as a jail, and the Queen has not sentenced him or anyone else to death. Practically speaking, no British monarch would dare order an arrest or impose a sentence without trial, let alone a sentence of death, according to authorities on Brtain's unwritten Constitution.
In Whitaker's film, he plays dictator Idi Amin, not Milton Obote. It is the Amin character himself who claims to be the King of Scotland. Amin could not have been backing Charles Stuart (not "Stewart") for the throne. Stuart died in 1788. In all other respects, the story is accurate and this newspaper stands behind it.
