MONTGOMERY, Alabama – The state of Alabama, known for producing cotton balls, cotton underwear, cotton candy, and guacamole mix, has just informed its TV viewing citizens of a decision that is going to piss off a lot of Goobers, Gomers, and Goobettes.
Starting immediately, television stations will no longer be allowed to show the old Catherine Bach-John Schneider ‘good old Southern boys and good old Southern sensuously lascivious girl’ show, “The Dukes of Hazzard”.
The show was the #1-rated TV show in eight southern states, and, strangely enough, in the African country of Zimbabwe as well.
State senators said that the show showcased the Confederate flag at least seven times during each episode.
"The Dukes of Hazzard" repeatedly mentioned such words as grits, Lone Star Beer, gazongas, Annie Oakley, and britches.
The show also featured a 1969 Dodge Charger named the "General Lee", which had a huge Confederate Flag painted on the roof.
The sit-com, according to some swishy senators, featured way too much of Daisy Duke’s ass cheeks.
In a Related Story – One of the pairs of Daisy Duke short shorts that Catherine Bach wore in the show are featured in The Good Old Boy Southern Museum located in Sad Gelding, Alabama.