Los Angeles - (Rioters): Lawyers acting for perma-faketanned C-List nonentity Paris Waldorf-Astoria have filed a federal lawsuit seeking to shut down a parody site that lampoons the peroxide bimbette's reproductive organs as weapons of mass castration and alleges her consultancy fee for private appearances is based on the Heidi Fleiss hourly tariff register.
"Our client is appalled to learn that people are exploiting her private parts for personal comical gain," a lawyers' statement said in support of the lawsuit.
"Our client is livid that intimate pictures relating to her future role as a wholesome, natural childbirth type of mother are being exploited and lampooned for personal gain.
"Accordingly we shall be seeking judgement supporting our contention that any future offspring gestated by our client could be so traumatised by the current cruel parody as to be born brain-dead."
But ratings-mad wannabe satirists are poo-pooing the suggestion that any issue springing from those Hilton loins could ever be anything but a carbon copy of his/her mother in terms of IQ, self-publicity and tendency to blag their way around the celeb circuits instead of making an honest living.
The case starts next week.
