A former Miss Nevada who was stripped of her title for baring her breast and other indiscretions has just signed a contract worth over two million dollars. The beauty queen had her title removed recently for behaviour that was deemed inappropriate for someone in her position.
Said the former beauty queen, "I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich! I don't care anymore! I don't give a crap about world hunger! Wanting world peace is just stupid anyway! Who really gives a damn about the starving kids in Africa and whether or not they can read!"
"I don't have to be nice to those other sluts so that I can win Miss Congeniality! Miss Congeniality is just an act anyway, because we're all giving blowjobs to the judges backstage just to get points and putting eye drops in each other's evian water."
"If I flashed my boobs to the judges, instead of in a bar, I might be Miss U.S.A.. Now, I'm rolling in the bucks and they can all kiss my butt (which, by the way, was covered with Crisco during the pageants to make it look shiny and wiggle more)."
"We all stuffed our bras. We all cheated every way we could to win. No more for me!"
"Now, while all of the other losers are banging the football captain back home or doing cheesy car dealer ads or trying to be the weather girl on the local news, I'm making millions!"
"Ain't life grand!"