Written by President Bush

Saturday, 16 December 2006

image for Snoop Dogg Overdoses on Liquid Smoke
Snoop in '05 rapping "Smoke on the water". Premonition?

Grammy winner Mary J Blige, last person to see Snoop Dogg upright and talking told police, "All we were doing was a little smoke you know, I passed the bottle to Snoop then I went NO Snoop NOOO don't drink the whole BOTTLE but he did". Snoop Dogg in serious but stable condition at an unnamed LA hospital somehow mustered enough strength to rap a request for lime jello which nurses quickly brought the ailing gangster rapper.

Liquid Smoke, ordinarily thought of as a cheap way to make people think you know how to cook is attracting a lot of attention lately because of Smoke's so-called "Hallucinogenic" properties. Steven Brown, CEO of Liquid Smoke said,

"Liquid Smoke when consumed in moderation does NOT make you see dragons and unicorns. If, however you drink a whole BOTTLE like Mr Dogg did well of course you'll not only get a good smokey buzzz but there may be side-effects as well".

One major side-effect being, as seen with Snoop Dogg, you wind up sipping lime green Jello in an ICU unit AND seeing dragons and unicorns.

Outback Steakhouse, Liquid Smoke's largest buyer of Liquid Smoke has already begun dousing it's steaks in Turtle Dove vomit instead of Liquid Smoke, one Outback official going on to say,

"After Snoop's ICU incident, we can't afford a frivolous lawsuit filed by some Outback customer who just might die after eating one of our Porterhouses. If you read the fine print on the label, Liquid Smoke really IS Turtle Dove vomit, we're simply bypassing the middle man, going straight to the Turtle Doves AND staying off the Nancy Grace show at the same time."

Michael Jackson, Laura Bush, Snoop's pen pal Osama Bin Laden and a host of other dignitaries have already been invited to attend next week's "Get Well Snoop and stop drinking Liquid Smoke Why Don't-cha" get well Bash at Carnegie Hall. Jackson and Mrs Bush, sources say have already RSVP'd the invitation but Bin Laden has remained strangely silent about his plans to attend the invitation only event.

"Perhaps Bin's shy about coming thinking he might get caught and all" Mary J Blige told KLAX reporters before downing yet another swig of Liquid Smoke.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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