Elvis Presley Named America's Top Entertainer of All Time In 49 States

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 25 January 2014

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Elvis Presley was the favorite entertainer of Charles De Gaulle, Nikita Khrushchev, and John F. Kennedy.

CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just released the findings of its most recent national research study.

ADGA Executive Director Bagby B. Buckleybox explained that back in November of last year, they sent out research questionnaires to 17,903,613 people in each of the 50 states of the nation asking them to list the names of their all-time favorite entertainers.

He reported that a total of 17,903,599 of those research questionnaires were returned to ADGA's home office in Chicago.

ADGA hired 27 workers to go over every research questionnaire and the winner of America's Top Entertainer of All-Time was the king of rock and roll Elvis Presley.

Other performers who received many votes included Frank Sinatra, Marilyn Monroe, Barbra Streisand, the Cowsills, and Taylor Swift.

Buckleybox commented that Presley was number one in every state except for Arizona. Elvis came in second in that state who picked Liberace as their choice for America's Top Entertainer of All-Time.

SIDENOTE: Gibraltar Yukon a writer with Celebrity Globe Magazine explained that the reason why Elvis Presley was not named number one in Arizona may have been due to the anti-saguaro cactus comment he made on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show back in May of 1969.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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