Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 5 July 2013

image for Heidi Klum Wants To Marry Her Bodyguard
Heidi has said that lots of men say she has the best looking legs in all of LaLaLand. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

LOS ANGELES - Heidi Klum has done it all. She has worked as a model, a TV producer, a television host, a fashion designer, an actress, and even for one week a pole dancer in her home country of Germany.

Heidi at 40, is still considered to be one of the sexiest women in America. In fact the crew aboard the American aircraft carrier the USS Condoleezza Rice voted her The Woman We'd Most Like To Be Stranded on A Remote Pacific Island With.

Heidi has been to the alter twice and to divorce court twice. She ended her 7 year marriage last year to singer Seal.

The 5-foot-10-inch beauty is presently smitten with her personal bodyguard Martin "Muscles" Kirsten who guards her 24/7.

According to American Spotlight Magazine's Fitzwater Ribicoff, Kirsten is one of the highest paid bodyguards in Hollywood.

Klum is presently appearing as a judge on America's Got Talent, where she is very popular because of her penchant for wearing the shortest dresses and skirts of any female on the boob tube (no pun intended).

The lasciviously luscious Klum who is nicknamed The Body has hinted that she would not mind having Martin Kirsten become her third husband.

She told Fitzwater Ribicoff that if she marries Martin she will be getting a husband who is her bodyguard which translates into having a bodyguard who is also her husband.

She giggled and said that it makes perfect business sense.

SIDENOTE: Heidi is one fantastic businesswoman who has a net worth of $71.2 million. She noted that she will of course insist on a pre-nuptial agreement where if they end up getting divorced Martin will be paid a one-time lump sum of $25,000 plus $2,000 for every year that they were married.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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