Grammy Award Winner's Aftershave Results in Hazmat Response

Funny story written by Ducksley

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Sources say a Los Angeles Fire Department hazmat team responded to the Grammy Awards show Sunday night after hundreds of people in the audience were sickened by musician Jack White's aftershave.

"It was awful," said backup hummer Caaloey D'Ababab, who performed onstage with White. "As soon as he walked on, my vision got blurry and my ears itched. It smelled like a giraffe belching figs," said D'Ababab, shaking her head.

Firefighters administered oxygen to stricken audience members and set up giant fans to clear out the fumes.

"I used to wear Old Spice Musk and I thought that was bad, but this was worse than a fart from a diseased pony," said firefighter Gimley Schirks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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