Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 13 January 2013

image for LeAnn Rimes: A Woman Tormented By The Past
LeAnn Rimes shown performing on stage at The Voodoo Arena in New Orleans. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

BURBANK - LeAnn Rimes and her husband Eddie "The Weasel" Cibrian were in Burbank visiting Cibrian's old high school badminton coach.

Eddie, 39, said that he learned a lot about life, attitudes, finances, and cheating from good old Coach Colton "The Bird" Chinmuffler.

When Cibrian introduced LeAnn to Chinmuffler the coach looked at her and remarked, "So Eddie this is the young woman that you dumped your fabulous looking wife for huh?"

Eddie was shocked to hear his coach talk that way and especially in front of LeAnn.

Before Eddie could make a comment, Rimes, 30, hollered out at the coach that Eddie had told him that his badminton coach thought that he looked like Jimmy Stewart, but in reality he actually looks more like Little Jimmy Dickens, the midget country artist.

Chinmuffler yelled back that Dickens was at least a foot shorter than him. Rimes replied by saying that the coach had all the personality of a paper cut and the charm of a dry lake bed.

Needless to say LeAnn told Eddie that she wanted to leave immediately. But before they left Eddie asked the coach if perhaps he had bumped his head real hard because he had turned into the demonic, hate-filled female version of Lisa Lampanelli.

On the way home LeAnn confided to Eddie that she feels tormented by the past because she feels that the coach's remarks where nature's way of getting back at her for her having stolen him away from his wife (Brandi Glanville).

Eddie grinned and told her that he did not believe in wigi boards. LeAnn shot him a look and remarked, "Eddie...what the hell does a wigi board have to do with anything? Dammit, I swear sometimes I wish I hadn't been so gosh darn determined to take you away from Brandi."

In Other News. Piers Morgan is reportedly as happy as an ostrich at the beach after hearing that Vice-President Joe Biden just stated on CNN that even if the petition to deport him reaches a million signatures, Piers will not be deported.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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