Eva Longoria Is Thinking About Breaking Up With New York Jets Quarterback Mark Sanchez

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

SAN ANTONIO - Eva Longoria was in the Alamo City visiting her mom and dad when she was approached by a reporter for Bedroom Pillow Talk at a local Flat As A Pancake Pancake House.

Carolina Chipotle asked Eva, 37, about the rumors swirling around the Left Coast and Right Coast that she is contemplating ending her May-December relationship with her boyfriend New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez who is only 25.

Eva put down her fork and with a sad look in her eyes remarked that the rumor is in fact true.

She stated that she is afraid that Mark is just not concentrating on football the way he should be because he spends so much time with her.

The star of Desperate Housewives noted that when they're not together engaging in acts of mattress merriment he spends lots and lots of time daydreaming and fantasizing about her fantastically sexy, svelte body.

Longoria confessed that she received a certified letter from Jets Coach Rex Ryan asking her to please stay away from the Jets games so that Sanchez can concentrate on what he is doing and stop throwing so many damn effen interceptions.

Eva did not reply to the certified letter but did tell The View's Barbara Walters that Ryan even went as far as to call her a jinx.

Longoria remarked that when she was married to San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker, that the Spurs did damn good and she was even allowed by Coach Gregg Popovich to ride on the team plane to and from the games.

SIDENOTE: Longoria appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and Ellen told her to stand her ground and not let no loser coach dictate to her who she can have a relationship with or who she can't. DeGeneres then grinned and said that perhaps old man Ryan needs to concern himself with his wife's alleged foot fetish.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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